Lots of new changes this week, Scott started at his new school and I put my meal plan from my dietician into action. We struggled with the decision to move Scott to another school the last 2 years, Scott has a very difficult time retaining the information he is learning in class even with extra tutoring and help at home. I take partial responsibility in the reason for the switch. The end of 4th grade I had a meeting with the school social workers and teachers, they all agree'd Scott was doing so well they no longer felt he needed the extra help and wanted me to exit him from the special services program. It was true Scott was doing amazing, he made friends, had good grades and seemed to be ok. I signed off under a false hope that Scott was "cured" of any learning issues. It became very clear the beginning of the next school year that we were horribly wrong! Some issues like not wanting to do homework or study come with the pre-teen age but when we spent 3 evenings studying flash cards together for him to still fail a test made us both feel like failures. I started to hear more of "I'm stupid, why study I'll fail anyways and etc." His teachers tried to fight for him last year asking for a re-evaluation that they have never dealt with a child that had such a hard time and he needed more support but the district decided he was fine as long as I kept him medicated. Scott skimmed the very edge of passing 5th grade in fact I received a letter asking to hold him back but I refused. Over the summer I battled myself trying to decide if a charter school was the best choice for him, a school that would help accommodate the needs we were desperate for but decided against my better judgement to allow him to return to public school for another try. Halfway through the school year and he is drowning again, failing all core classes despite our efforts and I was at a loss. I could not get the special service department on my side, Scott was having issues with kids telling him he was stupid when he asked questions and most mornings he fought me tooth and nail to go to school. Thursday I had enough! I called the charter schools told them the situation and by the grace of God they just happened to have a spot the opened up in his grade that morning. There were 2 other families wanting it but they had not completed the application yet so I jumped on it. They told me they would work with their social worker and Scott's physicians to make sure they got him the help he needs. I was completely won over by their staff and have faith that Scott will do great there. He was not thrilled about leaving his friends but explaining they were still close by and could have sleep overs helped him feel better about it. Scott's first day was yesterday and he loved it! He said his teachers were very kind, the kids welcomed him in very quickly and said they all "talk alot" LOL he should fit in just fine :) I feel good about my choice, I may have been inpatient for the public school to help but a year and a half was too long for me. Best part is Austin gets to attend there in the fall as well :) Now onto my food life change (I don't like to call it a diet). It is pretty simple plan my dietician and I split up what I needed into meals and snacks and I have been following it to the T the last 4 days. I track everything in the binder she provided and we go over my choices at our appointments every month. I have been doing good besides the caffeine migraines but motrin 800's have helped me deal with them. I fear I might be obsessing with my food program though. I have
never followed anything so closely and felt so horrible about not
meeting my goals. I am allowed 1225 calories, 60 protein, 30 fat and
130 carbs. I am always under calories but over by 5-10 in fats and
proteins. My food choices are what was suggested, I have done no
cheating no binging but I still feel like I am failing because I am not
hitting my numbers right. Example from Yesterday:
Breakfast:
1 cup of Cheerios
1 8oz. Fat Free Milk
1 Small Apple
Lunch:
2 Whole Wheat Light Bread
1 Tbsp. PB
1 6oz. Light Yogurt
1 Cup Carrots
Snack:
Light String Cheese
Dinner:
3 Oz. Chicken Breast Roasted
1 Small Baked Potato
1 Tbsp. Country Crock Light
1 Cup of Green Beans
I see no where to make cuts except my country crock but that was only 5
fat. I was still over 12 carbs :( Am I being crazy obsessing bout such
a small amount of overstepping....I am proud I made such a huge change
in my life so far but feel like its not good enough. I have had no pop,
only Skim Milk, Water, and Crystal Lite :) I did not get any fitness
in yesterday I kept getting distracted and next thing I knew it was 8pm
and I was exhausted ready to head to bed LOL. This early bedtime is for
the birds HAHA. Our children go to bed and I am too tired to stay up
or even get any reading in...I'm blaming it on getting used to my lack
of caffeine. Please let me know if you are seeing something I am not in
my meal plan...or if I am really just crazy about it LOL
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Shark Week
So I have been MIA for "Shark Week" :( I have been erratic, emotional,
angry and STARVING all week. I bought those heating pads for cramps,
thought they were a great idea then realized I am completely numb from 2
c-sections and couldn't even feel the darn things...hope they still
helped HAHA. I lacked all ambition to make meals, workout or even move
out of bed or the couch. This is a pretty
common event since I declined hormone treatments from my physician.
So saying that, I managed to maintain my weight but did not loose any and made a mess of my nutrition. Today is my first day feeling myself and had my first dietician appointment. I loved her, she was so sweet and made sure I had all the tools to get things right. I have to meet with her once a month and bring food logs in...good thing I already got that in the works LOL. I think it may help having someone looking at what is going on instead of just myself. There are plenty of days I don't eat all day then 6pm I eat a massive dinner and hop into bed at 9pm :(
Saturday was our second family fun date and it went great despite my unstable behavior. My husband and I took our 4 boys bowling and out for pizza. We had a great time even though none of the boys knew what they were doing. My oldest did good and helped so much with the little ones. The middle 2 boys got bored at about the 8th frame and the baby was done on the 5th lol. I spent the last 5 frames holding him and playing flash cards on my iphone LOL.
We got some pizza's from Papa Murphy's and headed home to eat as a family. I was so proud of the kids, they were so well behaved and kind to each other. I would like to think it was all because of our great parenting but I'm certain given it being "shark week" it was out of fear that mom might get "mad". I may need to look into come pms medications. I have not given up on my goals I merely got sidetracked for a week, but now that I am me again and not a ravenous shark eating everything and chewing up anyone that comes across my path I will be great:)
So saying that, I managed to maintain my weight but did not loose any and made a mess of my nutrition. Today is my first day feeling myself and had my first dietician appointment. I loved her, she was so sweet and made sure I had all the tools to get things right. I have to meet with her once a month and bring food logs in...good thing I already got that in the works LOL. I think it may help having someone looking at what is going on instead of just myself. There are plenty of days I don't eat all day then 6pm I eat a massive dinner and hop into bed at 9pm :(
Saturday was our second family fun date and it went great despite my unstable behavior. My husband and I took our 4 boys bowling and out for pizza. We had a great time even though none of the boys knew what they were doing. My oldest did good and helped so much with the little ones. The middle 2 boys got bored at about the 8th frame and the baby was done on the 5th lol. I spent the last 5 frames holding him and playing flash cards on my iphone LOL.
We got some pizza's from Papa Murphy's and headed home to eat as a family. I was so proud of the kids, they were so well behaved and kind to each other. I would like to think it was all because of our great parenting but I'm certain given it being "shark week" it was out of fear that mom might get "mad". I may need to look into come pms medications. I have not given up on my goals I merely got sidetracked for a week, but now that I am me again and not a ravenous shark eating everything and chewing up anyone that comes across my path I will be great:)
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Jars of Hope
I have 4 jars I am using as tools with my weight loss journey. First I put together my 2 jars for counting my pounds to loose and pounds I have lost. I went to the Dollar store and bought a bag of colored accent gems then bought 2 jars to place them in. With 116 pounds to loose total I was surprised one bag of accents was sufficient. I took a few labels and wrote with a sharpie "Pounds to Loose" and "Pounds Lost". I am planning on making some cuter labels soon, just wanted a starting point for now. Here is my almost finished project minus the permanent labels :)
My next jar I put together was my workout tips jar. I have put in 50 cents every time I workout 20 minutes. I am only 4 days in and have almost 6 dollars. I found a canning jar we had in our basement, cut a hole in the top and slapped on a temporary label. I plan on using the money inside for a new wardrobe once I hit my goal weight and not 5 pounds before :)
My last jar is my workout jar. I struggle with sticking to the same old routine and get bored easily. I made a workout jar with 3 different types of workouts I like to do; Core, Cardio and Strength Training. I found 10 different routines for each of them, some video's, some pins I have on my pinterest page under wellness. http://pinterest.com/kathieatkinson/ I purchased a bag of popsicle sticks and 3 different acrylic paints. Painted 30 of them then used my sharpie to write the type of workout it is and the name. I have a binder of printed pictures from my pins in protective sheets so I can keep the non-video workouts organized and labeled those sticks by page number. I put them into a jar so I don't loose them and now everyday I will draw one at random so I get a nice variety of workouts :)
These are my jars of hope. Having a visual aide to see my progress, something I can touch and count will help me keep focused and see my hard work even if I don't see it in the mirror. I can't wait until I have my pounds to loose jar empty and my workout tip jar full. I can not even imagine shopping at a real women's store instead of the plus size store....something I haven't done since I was 12!
My next jar I put together was my workout tips jar. I have put in 50 cents every time I workout 20 minutes. I am only 4 days in and have almost 6 dollars. I found a canning jar we had in our basement, cut a hole in the top and slapped on a temporary label. I plan on using the money inside for a new wardrobe once I hit my goal weight and not 5 pounds before :)
My last jar is my workout jar. I struggle with sticking to the same old routine and get bored easily. I made a workout jar with 3 different types of workouts I like to do; Core, Cardio and Strength Training. I found 10 different routines for each of them, some video's, some pins I have on my pinterest page under wellness. http://pinterest.com/kathieatkinson/ I purchased a bag of popsicle sticks and 3 different acrylic paints. Painted 30 of them then used my sharpie to write the type of workout it is and the name. I have a binder of printed pictures from my pins in protective sheets so I can keep the non-video workouts organized and labeled those sticks by page number. I put them into a jar so I don't loose them and now everyday I will draw one at random so I get a nice variety of workouts :)
These are my jars of hope. Having a visual aide to see my progress, something I can touch and count will help me keep focused and see my hard work even if I don't see it in the mirror. I can't wait until I have my pounds to loose jar empty and my workout tip jar full. I can not even imagine shopping at a real women's store instead of the plus size store....something I haven't done since I was 12!
Unless you puke, faint or die keep going! ~Jillian Michaels
Planning life change #2 was easy, putting into action is another story. Went through all my workout equipment, videos and clothes to find.....I pretty much have a whole gym in my house HA. There are 2 pieces of equipment I want and do not have; a treadmill and a Bosu ball. Thanks to all the great sales for the new year, I was able to purchase one at a nice discount :)
It took me and my 11 year old son over an hour to put this bad boy together....then my husband took it apart and put it together right so we wouldn't die HAHA. I added the Bosu ball to my rewards list even though the sale price is making me want to run to the store, but I know I should work for it so I will use some self control LOL. My son and I are registered for the Fifth Third River Bank Run May 13th so this treadmill will help get us ready. We start c25k today so we will have more than enough time to prepare for our first ever 5k. Did my official first weigh in this morning, I have 116.6 lbs to loose to be at a healthy BMI. Starting small I have a goal of 30 lbs lost by May 1st to start, giving me 16 weeks to loose about 2 lbs a week. Besides my 5k training I have strength training 3 times a week and cardio 6 days a week, taking Sundays off to rest. I have my workout jar all ready with different 20 min workouts on purple, pink and turquoise popsicle sticks to choose from. Purple for cardio, pink for strength, and turquoise for core workouts. Today I drew Biggest Loser Cardio Max workout :) Time to shed some liquid awesome HA HA
It took me and my 11 year old son over an hour to put this bad boy together....then my husband took it apart and put it together right so we wouldn't die HAHA. I added the Bosu ball to my rewards list even though the sale price is making me want to run to the store, but I know I should work for it so I will use some self control LOL. My son and I are registered for the Fifth Third River Bank Run May 13th so this treadmill will help get us ready. We start c25k today so we will have more than enough time to prepare for our first ever 5k. Did my official first weigh in this morning, I have 116.6 lbs to loose to be at a healthy BMI. Starting small I have a goal of 30 lbs lost by May 1st to start, giving me 16 weeks to loose about 2 lbs a week. Besides my 5k training I have strength training 3 times a week and cardio 6 days a week, taking Sundays off to rest. I have my workout jar all ready with different 20 min workouts on purple, pink and turquoise popsicle sticks to choose from. Purple for cardio, pink for strength, and turquoise for core workouts. Today I drew Biggest Loser Cardio Max workout :) Time to shed some liquid awesome HA HA
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Love Boxes
Today I planned the first life change on my list of goals: Loving More. I found the idea for the date jars on Pinterest but since I already have 2 weight jars (one for pounds lost, ones pounds to loose) a workout tips jar (place $1.00 in every 30 min of exercise) and a workout jar (Popsicle sticks with workout routines to choose from) I thought....I have too many jars! I stumbled upon a card box at me Meijer while buying Christmas tubs for storage and though they were perfect. I grabbed one along with 20 large envelopes, a box of small envelopes and shipping labels. I headed home and came up with 52 dates for me and my husband and 52 family fun dates. I printed Months on the shipping labels and put them on my large envelopes. Then I printed the 104 dates (Hubby dates in Red, Family dates in Blue) and put them on the small envelopes. I went through and looked up the approximate cost for each event, the address, hours and phone number on index cards and placed them into each envelope. I wanted my dates with my husband to be random, drawing an envelope every week but the family dates are planned because of what the activities are. I place 4-5 small date envelopes into the larger dated envelopes and filed them in the card box 2 months per slot. Then I placed the 4-5 dated family fun date enveloped behind the large envelopes so they don't get mixed together. Decorate top of box with your favorite scrap book papers and stickers. One entire year planned with weekly dates with my family, planned and budgeted out. One great way I know I will love my family more by giving them every Monday or Tuesday evenings with my husband.
Here are my Date Ideas:
Hubby Date Nights:
January-
1. Play in the snow together
2. Dinner at local restaurant
3. Comedy movie at home with takeout
4. Bowling
5. Cosmo's Truth or Dare Game
February-
1. Dinner at local restaurant
2. Hotel over night (COSTLY DATE)
3. Wish List (you each write 3 things on a slips of paper that you want to do in the bedroom, fold them up, draw from the hat and have fun)
4. Go to movie theatres for a scary flick
March-
1. Dinner at a local restaurant
2. Romance movie at home with takeout
3. 4 star restaurant downtown (COSTLY DATE)
4. Art of kissing book (try all the many ways to kiss..who knew there was a whole book!)
April-
1. Video game time together
2. Dinner at a local restaurant
3. Go the movie theatres for a comedy
4. I.O.U Hot.....adult game
5. Sexy Stacker Game
May-
1. Horror movie at home with takeout
2. Dinner at local restaurant
3. Choose your pleasure...adult game
4. Tattoos (COSTLY DATE)...cause we have been wanting one LOL
June-
1. Carnival
2. Make dessert at home
3. Go to the movie theatre for a action movie
4. Sexy Stacker game
July-
1. Drive In
2. Ice cream shop
3. Local Band
4. Truth or Dare game
5. Dinner at local resturant
August-
1. Go to the movie theatre for a comedy
2. Twister
3. Concert
4. IOU Hot Game
September-
1. Mini Golf
2. Choose your pleasure game
3. Firing range
4. Dinner at local restaurant
October-
1. Weekend Getaway(COSTLY DATE for our anniversary we are going to Mackinaw for the weekend)
2. NONE BECAUSE OF WEEKEND GETAWAY
3. Dinner at local restaurant
4. IOU Hot Game
5. Haunted House
November-
1. Make pizza together and watch an Italian movie
2. NONE FOR THANKSGIVING WEEK
3. Comedy Club
4. Dinner at a local restaurant
December-
1. Laser Tag
2. Dinner at a local restaurant
3. Hot Tubing
4. Dinner at the Melting Pot (COSTLY DATE)
5. FAMILY DATE FOR NEW YEARS
Family Fun Dates:
January-
1. Play in the snow together
2. Children's Museum
3. Sledding
4. Chuck e Cheese
February-
1. Ice Skating
2. Hockey Game
3. Tubing
4. Sledding
March-
1. Java Gym
2. Bowling
3. Monster Truck Races
4. Great Wolf Lodge for weekend during spring break
5. Morning Movie
April-
1. Craig's Cruisers
2. Chuck e Cheese
3. Gymnastics center
4. Public Museum
May-
1. Nature Center
2. Riverbank run (me and my oldest are running)
3. Mini Golf
4. Baseball Game
June-
1. Drive In Movie
2. Frederick Meijer Gardens
3. Ice Cream Parlor
4. Zoo
5. Grand Haven Beach Day
July-
1. Fireworks/Camp in a tent in the backyard
2. AJ's Fun Park
3. Michigan's Adventures
4. Fishing
August-
1. Flashlight Tag
2. Millennium Park
3. Grand Haven Beach Day
4. Full Blast Indoor/Outdoor Water Park
5. Chuck e Cheese
September-
1. Art Prize
2. Kroc Center
3. Allegan County Fair
4. Robinettes Orchard
October-
1. Klackles Orchard
2. Children's Museum
3. Nature Walk
4. Cornmaze
November-
1. Chuck e Cheese
2. Play World
3. Bowling
4. Java Gym
5. NONE FOR THANKSGIVING WEEK
December-
1. Frederick Meijer Gardens for Christmas Around the World
2. Holiday Inn overnight with water park COSTLY DATE
3. Gymnastics
4. NONE FOR CHRISTMAS WEEK
Card Box $7.99 Meijer
Large envelopes and Shipping labels
Printed Month Envelopes
Costly Preplanned Date Night Envelopes
January's date night envelope example
Here are my Date Ideas:
Hubby Date Nights:
January-
1. Play in the snow together
2. Dinner at local restaurant
3. Comedy movie at home with takeout
4. Bowling
5. Cosmo's Truth or Dare Game
February-
1. Dinner at local restaurant
2. Hotel over night (COSTLY DATE)
3. Wish List (you each write 3 things on a slips of paper that you want to do in the bedroom, fold them up, draw from the hat and have fun)
4. Go to movie theatres for a scary flick
March-
1. Dinner at a local restaurant
2. Romance movie at home with takeout
3. 4 star restaurant downtown (COSTLY DATE)
4. Art of kissing book (try all the many ways to kiss..who knew there was a whole book!)
April-
1. Video game time together
2. Dinner at a local restaurant
3. Go the movie theatres for a comedy
4. I.O.U Hot.....adult game
5. Sexy Stacker Game
May-
1. Horror movie at home with takeout
2. Dinner at local restaurant
3. Choose your pleasure...adult game
4. Tattoos (COSTLY DATE)...cause we have been wanting one LOL
June-
1. Carnival
2. Make dessert at home
3. Go to the movie theatre for a action movie
4. Sexy Stacker game
July-
1. Drive In
2. Ice cream shop
3. Local Band
4. Truth or Dare game
5. Dinner at local resturant
August-
1. Go to the movie theatre for a comedy
2. Twister
3. Concert
4. IOU Hot Game
September-
1. Mini Golf
2. Choose your pleasure game
3. Firing range
4. Dinner at local restaurant
October-
1. Weekend Getaway(COSTLY DATE for our anniversary we are going to Mackinaw for the weekend)
2. NONE BECAUSE OF WEEKEND GETAWAY
3. Dinner at local restaurant
4. IOU Hot Game
5. Haunted House
November-
1. Make pizza together and watch an Italian movie
2. NONE FOR THANKSGIVING WEEK
3. Comedy Club
4. Dinner at a local restaurant
December-
1. Laser Tag
2. Dinner at a local restaurant
3. Hot Tubing
4. Dinner at the Melting Pot (COSTLY DATE)
5. FAMILY DATE FOR NEW YEARS
Family Fun Dates:
January-
1. Play in the snow together
2. Children's Museum
3. Sledding
4. Chuck e Cheese
February-
1. Ice Skating
2. Hockey Game
3. Tubing
4. Sledding
March-
1. Java Gym
2. Bowling
3. Monster Truck Races
4. Great Wolf Lodge for weekend during spring break
5. Morning Movie
April-
1. Craig's Cruisers
2. Chuck e Cheese
3. Gymnastics center
4. Public Museum
May-
1. Nature Center
2. Riverbank run (me and my oldest are running)
3. Mini Golf
4. Baseball Game
June-
1. Drive In Movie
2. Frederick Meijer Gardens
3. Ice Cream Parlor
4. Zoo
5. Grand Haven Beach Day
July-
1. Fireworks/Camp in a tent in the backyard
2. AJ's Fun Park
3. Michigan's Adventures
4. Fishing
August-
1. Flashlight Tag
2. Millennium Park
3. Grand Haven Beach Day
4. Full Blast Indoor/Outdoor Water Park
5. Chuck e Cheese
September-
1. Art Prize
2. Kroc Center
3. Allegan County Fair
4. Robinettes Orchard
October-
1. Klackles Orchard
2. Children's Museum
3. Nature Walk
4. Cornmaze
November-
1. Chuck e Cheese
2. Play World
3. Bowling
4. Java Gym
5. NONE FOR THANKSGIVING WEEK
December-
1. Frederick Meijer Gardens for Christmas Around the World
2. Holiday Inn overnight with water park COSTLY DATE
3. Gymnastics
4. NONE FOR CHRISTMAS WEEK
Large envelopes and Shipping labels
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Conquerors of today
~In all things we are more than conquerors of through him who loved us~ Romans 8:37
Food has been there for me my entire life. It has been a comforter when I am depressed or upset, it has been apart of celebration for birthdays and holidays, it has been a tool I use when I am bored to occupy myself with something to do. I have held food to a much higher standard than it could possibly provide me. Instead of using it to sustain my body filing it with nourishment I have managed to over fill it with salt, fats and sweets that it does not need to help keep me functioning. Now I am not in delusion that my world will change with me, I do not expect to deprive myself from the very foods that have caused me to be in the place I am in. But moderation is the name of the game, a tool I have rarely used in my belt. I know what I need to do to be successful at weight loss, I have been dieting since I was young and dieting is my problem. I restrict myself from the foods I enjoy cutting them out of my life completely replacing them with foods that are better choices but lack in fulfilling the needs I expect them too. I spend my days weighting my portions and putting my meals in Tupperware tubs marked by the meal so I don't stray from my plan. While those things work for weight loss it is not life changing for me. I follow the plan for a few weeks, maybe a month until something triggers my emotional eating habits so I binge and tell myself "I've ruined my diet and I can't live like this, I will just be happy the way I am." I live in a lie, that this body I have over stuffed is ok. That I feel good about myself and am comfortable the way I am and I am not. I am not wanting to be stick thin, I never have been. I want to be a healthy example for my family, someone they can look to for support and knowledge. I want to feel good in my skin and not be weighted down by insecurities that have plagued me since grade school. This year I am not dieting....I am changing my life! I have a plan to bring healthy food choices to our table and still enjoy the snacks and treats we all love....in moderation. So no I will not pass on birthday cake, chicken n dumplins or Nana's Christmas peanut butter bars! I will eat what I enjoy but in proper portions and remember what I put in must be put out in physical activity. No more eating till I feel sick then napping on the couch till I feel like I can move again. No more overeating at fast food cause it is easier than preparing my family food because they have better choices that I always passed by for the chicken nuggets and fries. No more drinking a 2 liter of cherry coke because I use the excuse there is nothing else in the fridge that's cold. I have every excuse in the book used twice but they are behind me now. With the support of my family and friends I know I can make this life change I so desperately need. So whats my plan:
1. Menu planning breakfast lunch and dinner. Adding more vegetables and cutting down on carbs and meat portions. Following the guidelines I have been reading about on how our meal plates should look.
2. Get my family involved in more activities needing movement. Game night around the kitchen table is great but we're still sitting in one place. More sledding, ice skating and snowball fights will be taking place in our yard.
3. Setting a schedule for myself to keep everything I need to do at a certain time so I don't make excuses. I know there are always things that pop up, but generally my life is pretty timed out. I plan most of my day out anyway, there is no reason I can not set time aside for working out to get where I want to be.
4. Accept help! While I hate asking for it, I know I can not do it alone. I do need my very own cheerleaders at my side letting me know what a good job I am doing....don't we all? I'm not saying I need someone following me all day saying "Your eating a healthy breakfast GREAT JOB, lunch too FANTASTIC" HAHA but acknowledgment for my hard work when it pays off.
5. And last but not least: Stop listening to the naysayers! There is always someone in your life that doubts you can do what you want to accomplish. I have failed so many times before, I dread even mentioning a life change to others but I am human. I fall on my face but get back up and if others see my attempt as weakness they are the ones with a problem. I will not listen to the "how long will this time last" or "you don't finish anything you start" because believe me I already have those thoughts in my own head but I know I have power and strength over them. I will not let negative words and thoughts stop me from taking control over my life. It is indeed my life, the only one I have.
~I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me~Philippians 4:13
Food has been there for me my entire life. It has been a comforter when I am depressed or upset, it has been apart of celebration for birthdays and holidays, it has been a tool I use when I am bored to occupy myself with something to do. I have held food to a much higher standard than it could possibly provide me. Instead of using it to sustain my body filing it with nourishment I have managed to over fill it with salt, fats and sweets that it does not need to help keep me functioning. Now I am not in delusion that my world will change with me, I do not expect to deprive myself from the very foods that have caused me to be in the place I am in. But moderation is the name of the game, a tool I have rarely used in my belt. I know what I need to do to be successful at weight loss, I have been dieting since I was young and dieting is my problem. I restrict myself from the foods I enjoy cutting them out of my life completely replacing them with foods that are better choices but lack in fulfilling the needs I expect them too. I spend my days weighting my portions and putting my meals in Tupperware tubs marked by the meal so I don't stray from my plan. While those things work for weight loss it is not life changing for me. I follow the plan for a few weeks, maybe a month until something triggers my emotional eating habits so I binge and tell myself "I've ruined my diet and I can't live like this, I will just be happy the way I am." I live in a lie, that this body I have over stuffed is ok. That I feel good about myself and am comfortable the way I am and I am not. I am not wanting to be stick thin, I never have been. I want to be a healthy example for my family, someone they can look to for support and knowledge. I want to feel good in my skin and not be weighted down by insecurities that have plagued me since grade school. This year I am not dieting....I am changing my life! I have a plan to bring healthy food choices to our table and still enjoy the snacks and treats we all love....in moderation. So no I will not pass on birthday cake, chicken n dumplins or Nana's Christmas peanut butter bars! I will eat what I enjoy but in proper portions and remember what I put in must be put out in physical activity. No more eating till I feel sick then napping on the couch till I feel like I can move again. No more overeating at fast food cause it is easier than preparing my family food because they have better choices that I always passed by for the chicken nuggets and fries. No more drinking a 2 liter of cherry coke because I use the excuse there is nothing else in the fridge that's cold. I have every excuse in the book used twice but they are behind me now. With the support of my family and friends I know I can make this life change I so desperately need. So whats my plan:
1. Menu planning breakfast lunch and dinner. Adding more vegetables and cutting down on carbs and meat portions. Following the guidelines I have been reading about on how our meal plates should look.
2. Get my family involved in more activities needing movement. Game night around the kitchen table is great but we're still sitting in one place. More sledding, ice skating and snowball fights will be taking place in our yard.
3. Setting a schedule for myself to keep everything I need to do at a certain time so I don't make excuses. I know there are always things that pop up, but generally my life is pretty timed out. I plan most of my day out anyway, there is no reason I can not set time aside for working out to get where I want to be.
4. Accept help! While I hate asking for it, I know I can not do it alone. I do need my very own cheerleaders at my side letting me know what a good job I am doing....don't we all? I'm not saying I need someone following me all day saying "Your eating a healthy breakfast GREAT JOB, lunch too FANTASTIC" HAHA but acknowledgment for my hard work when it pays off.
5. And last but not least: Stop listening to the naysayers! There is always someone in your life that doubts you can do what you want to accomplish. I have failed so many times before, I dread even mentioning a life change to others but I am human. I fall on my face but get back up and if others see my attempt as weakness they are the ones with a problem. I will not listen to the "how long will this time last" or "you don't finish anything you start" because believe me I already have those thoughts in my own head but I know I have power and strength over them. I will not let negative words and thoughts stop me from taking control over my life. It is indeed my life, the only one I have.
~I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me~Philippians 4:13
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
A New Year!
I can not believe how quickly 2012 flew by. Lots of life changes for us from moving, to adding another fur baby to our family. Never a dull moment! I have plenty of goals for 2013, no "New Year Resolutions" since I always disappoint myself when I don't follow through. My goals are realistic and a work in progress.
So here we go:
1. Spend more time loving!
We get so caught up in the busyness of life's to do list that sometimes we forget to slow down and give time to the ones we love. I happen to have 5 people I love and lack in giving them all the proper love the deserve. Honestly after the craziness of the day with 2 little ones when my oldest and husband get home I am spent and want to do nothing but finish my dinner/homework/bathes routine and crawl into bed with a good book for some me time. Not fair to them, not fair to me! I am missing precious time with them both and the older my son gets the more time he doesn't want to spend with his old mom and in exchange wants to hang out with friends :( So this year I am setting aside special time with each of my family members everyday and bringing back date nights with my husband to get to know each other again since we sometimes loose ourselves in the roles of mom and dad.
DS11
2. Get active!
I have gained and maintained an unhealthy weight for 11 years...yep that's right 11 YEARS of fat. Sure I have yo-yo'd the same 50 pounds during this time but on my little 5'2 frame I can not afford to keep living in denial that I am "just accepting myself the way I am". I can say that as much as I want but I do not accept this body the way it is. I do not want to be skinny, I want to gain strength and loose inches. I want to be a healthy example for my children, someone for them to look up to instead of being someone they look down on. I don't want them to know that I spent half of my life out of control letting emotions control my food choices. I want them to see the strength and determination I know I am capable of. As my oldest is growing I see more and more of myself in him. The night snacking, sneaking sweets into his room eating in shame and hoping no one will see what he has consumed. Keeping bad food choices in my home is hurting my family and I am setting a goal to change the way we eat and get exercise this year. More clean and fresh foods, less processed and fatty foods! More active family activities less tv and video game time for us all!
3. Serve others!
Our family has been blessed by amazing people in our lives who have helped through lots of emotional, financial, and spiritual hardships. In 2013 I want to spend more time teaching my children its not always about us, that God has called us to serve others with no expectations of anything given in return. We are still a work in progress, but I can share everything I have even if it is less than what others have. One thing I do have is time! Even with a crazy schedule, 3 boys, my husband and 3 dogs I can find time to serve others. It will be on my list of priorities!
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DS2
I am excited to see what 2013 will bring to our family. A quiet home is boring, bring on the crazy!
So here we go:
1. Spend more time loving!
We get so caught up in the busyness of life's to do list that sometimes we forget to slow down and give time to the ones we love. I happen to have 5 people I love and lack in giving them all the proper love the deserve. Honestly after the craziness of the day with 2 little ones when my oldest and husband get home I am spent and want to do nothing but finish my dinner/homework/bathes routine and crawl into bed with a good book for some me time. Not fair to them, not fair to me! I am missing precious time with them both and the older my son gets the more time he doesn't want to spend with his old mom and in exchange wants to hang out with friends :( So this year I am setting aside special time with each of my family members everyday and bringing back date nights with my husband to get to know each other again since we sometimes loose ourselves in the roles of mom and dad.
2. Get active!
I have gained and maintained an unhealthy weight for 11 years...yep that's right 11 YEARS of fat. Sure I have yo-yo'd the same 50 pounds during this time but on my little 5'2 frame I can not afford to keep living in denial that I am "just accepting myself the way I am". I can say that as much as I want but I do not accept this body the way it is. I do not want to be skinny, I want to gain strength and loose inches. I want to be a healthy example for my children, someone for them to look up to instead of being someone they look down on. I don't want them to know that I spent half of my life out of control letting emotions control my food choices. I want them to see the strength and determination I know I am capable of. As my oldest is growing I see more and more of myself in him. The night snacking, sneaking sweets into his room eating in shame and hoping no one will see what he has consumed. Keeping bad food choices in my home is hurting my family and I am setting a goal to change the way we eat and get exercise this year. More clean and fresh foods, less processed and fatty foods! More active family activities less tv and video game time for us all!
3. Serve others!
Our family has been blessed by amazing people in our lives who have helped through lots of emotional, financial, and spiritual hardships. In 2013 I want to spend more time teaching my children its not always about us, that God has called us to serve others with no expectations of anything given in return. We are still a work in progress, but I can share everything I have even if it is less than what others have. One thing I do have is time! Even with a crazy schedule, 3 boys, my husband and 3 dogs I can find time to serve others. It will be on my list of priorities!
.JPG)
I am excited to see what 2013 will bring to our family. A quiet home is boring, bring on the crazy!
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